The downsides of being an extrovert
Anyone who has ever met me in seconds has discovered whether I am an introvert or an extrovert, or an ambivert. And when they realise I come across confident and extroverted, they generally follow this up with how amazing it must be for me to talk to people and connect. But that’s not always the case, for a number of reasons. Buckle up, reader.
the expectations placed upon you
People always want YOU to do everything. When I say everything, I really mean, everything. It is naturally assumed that you will order for the table, you will make the decision to speak to strangers in a situation where someone absolutely has to, you will organise the next meeting for friends. Some people genuinely enjoy this, and I am one of them, but being in a position where people EXPECT it, is annoying. At the end of the day, do extroverts not get tired? Do we always feel like having to order? And then when you do so, there’s almost certainly a distinct lack of gratitude, because of your extrovert status. In fact, you’re doing your friends a favour because they’re allowing you to fulfil the elements of your personality. Lucky me.
the need to be sociable all the time
Any extrovert will share my pain - you’re in a group setting, talking away, and you’ve been quiet for a couple of minutes. Suddenly there’s an influx of questions - why are you so quiet? Is everything ok? You don’t seem yourself? Extroverts also lose social battery, believe it or not. But more commonly, we’re trying to allow natural flow of conversation. According to the average person, I speak a lot, so part of my self-reflection has been listening more so my contributions are more meaningful. So if an extrovert is a little quiet, it’s not always a big deal.
the fear of being viewed as inconsiderate if unwilling to help
Introverts can get away with this more in the sense that if you keep to yourself and socialise less, offering assistance isn’t expected. If extroverts prioritise their workload and can’t help out absolutely everyone who asks, they’re seen as selfish and all about themselves. At the end of the day, everyone has to ultimately prioritise themselves in order to continue contributing effectively to society. Extroverts are no different and cannot stretch themselves unrealistically.
the need to be high-energy
THIS. Susan, it’s Monday morning. I’m hardly going to be bouncing off the walls BEFORE I’ve had my morning coffee. Understood? But seriously, people have bursts of energy and then droughts. Extroverts also have phases throughout the day.
the emotional and physical exhaustion
Being everywhere all at once and having been expected to do everything with a smile isn’t easy, or even realistic. I’ve also noticed that extroverts tend to (not always) be more emotionally invested in issues, especially those around events of a public nature. Extroverts thrive off social interaction and events can be where we dominate or enjoy. However, this has a downside as it can be highly stressful and emotional depending on complications.
the assumption that friendships are easy
It’s a fallacy that every extrovert has lots and lots of friends and is going out every day and meeting them. Yes, as an extrovert, you may have an increased social capacity to go out and interact with others and form connections, but this does not necessarily lead to meaningful friendships. And friendships in general are not 'easy' just because you are able to keep conversation going or are cheerful all the time.
Conclusion
Growing up, and even now, people seem to think it’s a superpower, being an extrovert. There are so many positives, but I feel like no one thinks about how hard it can be too!
I just think people should remember there are always advantages and disadvantages to being introverted/extroverted.
What are your thoughts?
*Header photo shows author posing with the official Government lectern - an extrovert in their element. All rights reserved.
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