the hierarchy of friends
hierarchy: a system or organisation where members are ranked based on authority/status/importance
I've said before about the transitionary period in my life forcing me to rethink my current as well as previous behaviours, and one of these is in the friendships I hold. If we're friends, please stop reading now.
We have different friends for different areas of life; in school, in sports, in activities and events we regularly attend. Not that most people would admit it, but there does exist an unspoken hierarchy of friends. To put it plainly - who would you go to with an issue?
This is, I admit, an oversimplification. Come on Ishaa, I'd go to Friend X about my stress issues and to Friend Y about how things are at home, for example. We do gravitate towards discussing certain topics with certain people, whether that is because of an extended bond of trust or mutual understanding.
I believe that we all have a hierarchy, unofficially, in how we treat our respective friends and in return, set expectations. I'm not suggesting a whole noticeboard with faces pinned and strings attached, because this isn't a crime scene, but a note on the behaviours of human beings. It feels bad to say, evil, friends are friends right? We trust them with so much and give so much of ourselves up in order to receive what we perceive to be a worthwhile connection.
Realistically, you would not be with two friends and start declaring how one is more important than the other. That would be openly rude.
I think most people are more subtle in how they treat you. Everyone has their own hierarchy and that is natural. I would just say be mindful when you're deciding how much energy to devote to certain friendships.
And remember: this is just an observation of mine. Hierarchies can shift and change, especially ones as makeshift and unconscious (to some degree) as the ones we create.
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