There and Not There: Friends Online
There's a popular saying that says about being something 'in name only'. Recently, I was thinking about how we have a tendency to call everyone a 'friend' and about how we have friends we don't speak to for years that we still call friends. They're there, and not there, because we live in the unique era of social media.
It's really weird when you think about it. If you wanted to, you could scroll Instagram, find their handle, and reach out to them, all because something reminded you of them. It's been years since I've spoken to some friends, and honestly, I don't know if they or I would still regard us as friends. This issue has been exacerbated by the immediacy of modern technology; if they wanted to they would, there isn't really an excuse not for contacting people because you can email, text, call etc. So when time does go by, it appears that the relationship was not a priority anymore, and you realise where you regard one another in your hierachy of friends.
That doesn't mean you don't care about them or treasure the time you had. I think we need different people in different phases of our life. We change as time goes on, what our priorities are, what we want from those around us, and the lens through which we view the world. Social media then acts as a reality check because it shows you that when you have every tool possible in your arsenal - do you reach out to those friends? Are they a priority?
I spent a lot of time wondering why certain friends didn't make enough effort or do X or why I didn't do Y. At the end of the day, words are one thing, and action is another. A combination of the two really is desirable to have some sort of understanding.
I've made my peace with this concept that has, quite frankly, plagued me since I was 9 years old. Maybe it's the frontal love developing. Maybe it's the self-assurance that I know what efforts I have and continue to put in to my relationships. Maybe it's learning that being upset or angry over these things is a waste of time, because I'd rather write a blog on what I've learnt and then spend my time dancing to BSS' latest album or debating over the Trump inauguration (LOL).
Life is too short to waste it doing things you don't want to do. Spend it with those who are willing to show you respect and the validation we all deserve.
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